The Big Puppy Love
by LayzeeWriter
Summary: Since being rescued from Pylea, Fred begins to develop a huge crush on Angel. It comes to a head in "Carpe Noctum". This is the events of "Carpe Noctum" from Fred's point of view.


Summary: The events of "Carpe Noctum"…from Fred's point of view.

**The Big Puppy Love**

I think I'm ready.

It's been roughly a week since the last time I came out of my room. This is the only sanctuary I know. The last time I left the hotel, it was to sing karaoke at Caritas with Cordelia and Wesley. I've got to admit I was awfully nervous. I've never done well with crowds and I've never been much of a singer. But all in all, it was pretty fun. Well, that is, until the whole thing with Gunn's old gang bursting in and raining down bullets on any demon that moved. It's like trouble seems to follow me wherever I go.

I haven't forgotten what happened five years ago when I was sucked into Pylea and made into a slave. But, of course, how can anyone forget that sort of thing? I mean, it's not like it's a minor thing or anything. How does living five years as a slave and a fugitive in a demon dimension constitute as a minor thing? Pretty major, if you ask me. But I digress.

I can't seem to get away from trouble. I don't ever really feel safe anymore, unless I'm locked in my room. I still remember one of the first times I tried to leave my room and come downstairs. I was told to run back to my room and stay there. Turned out there was a vampire attacking. If there's ever trouble, it seems like it sure knows where to find me. But lately, there's been one comforting aspect in regards to that trouble. It's the fact that a certain someone has always been there to rescue me.

My life changed the day I met Angel. The first time I saw him, I was condemned to death. I had nothing left to live for. I wanted my executioner to swing that axe down at full speed and put an end to the misery that was my life. I couldn't stand one more day in Pylea, constantly living in fear. But instead of executing me, Angel saved me. And he brought me back to Los Angeles — back to the land of humans, books, and tacos. Oh, I've missed tacos. I'm so glad there are still tacos!

Since then, though, I've been so afraid to come out of my room. Between vampires attacking and renegade gangs opening fire in a demon sanctuary, I've been square in the middle of danger. But Angel has always been there to save me — to keep me alive, even though my life hasn't meant anything in the last five years. He's done what I used to think was impossible — he's made me feel safe.

I think I'm ready.

I'm ready to come out of my room.

The first thing I notice when I come out is that everyone's going about their business. Gunn's playing a videogame, Wesley's reading through a book, and Cordelia's browsing through a magazine. I don't think anyone sees me…or for that matter, I don't think anyone is even expecting to see me. But I suppose I should make my presence somewhat felt.

"AAH!" Cordy gasped. She nearly jumped.

"Hey, Fred," Gunn said calmly, without even taking his eye off his videogame. It's almost like he saw me there the whole time.

I immediately apologized. "Sorry. Did I startle you guys?"

"No," Wesley said kindly.

"Only in the sense of shocking and jolting us," Cordy chuckled. "What's up?"

"Nothin'. I'm just taking a little stroll." I paused for a moment. I couldn't help but notice Cordy's magazine. It was filled with models that were slim enough to fit through a keyhole. First word I think of upon seeing that? Anorexic. "Why do girls want to look like that? I spent years starving in a cave. What's their excuse?"

"Fashion," Cordy answered.

I suddenly started giggling. I don't know why I found that funny, because it doesn't look like anyone else did. So I just hushed up and sheepishly sunk down to my knees. Cordy looked at me and let out a small laugh.

"So everybody's just readin' and hangin' out?"

Cordy turned from her magazine briefly. "Angel's upstairs."

The mention of his name made me giggle softly. "Oh. He's probably reading too. He's so deep, you know? Thoughtful. I'm guessing _The Brothers Karamazov_, Joyce, a little Goethe to round things out."

Just as I said that, Angel came out from the top of the stairs, looking excited. "Am I the only one who read this?"

"Read what?" Wes asked.

"Charlton Heston," Angel replied. "Double feature!" He started coming down the stairs, newspaper in hand. "At the Nuart. _Soylent Green_…and _The Omega Man_."

"Wow," Gunn said dryly. Again, he didn't take his eye off his videogame.

"It's two-for-one," Angel added, hoping anyone would get as excited as he did. "Did I mention Charlton Heston?"

Angel looked around, searching for any kind of enthusiasm. Not sure if he saw the fixated gaze I was giving him. I sure hope not. He probably thinks I'm goofy enough as it is.

"Who's in?" Angel asked.

I jumped up and raised my hand excitedly. Never mind the fact that I haven't been to a movie theater in over five years, but the fact that it's with Angel? How could I resist? I couldn't jump in fast enough. "That sounds great." I was giggling like a fool by that moment.

Angel smiled. "Fred." He looked over at Wesley. "Wesley?"

"Well, I'm in the middle of translating Fassad's Guide from the original Sumerian," Wes replied, declining the invite.

Angel looked towards the others. "Gunn? Cordy?"

Neither one raised their heads. They weren't interested.

Angel walked over to grab his coat. "Looks like it's just you and me, Fred."

My heart must have skipped a beat. Not only was I going to a movie with Angel, but now it was just going to be me and him. Alone. Oh my. I've never really been alone with a man…much less a vampire man. This is so exciting! Alright, maybe I should get this goofy smile off my face. But I can't help it. I'm going to the movies with Angel! Alone!

"Looks like the worm has turned," Angel noted.

I started giggling again. "Y-Yeah. The worm's turning and…" My happiness suddenly faded for a second. "Am I the worm?"

"No," Angel said. "You may not know this, but certain friends and coworkers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay-at-home, sulky one." Suddenly, all eyes were on Angel. Angel casually continued. "Some people just don't know how to have fun anymore."

That brought a smile back to my face. Fun. That was a word I hadn't heard in a long time. It's felt like so long since I've had anything resembling fun. Well, I guess five years is a pretty long time, so that feeling's probably accurate. I never thought I'd have fun again.

I never thought I'd experience a lot of things again. But all of that changed since I've met Angel. When I look into his eyes, I feel safe. I feel content. And, dare I say it, I feel…happy.

Wow…tonight's going to be a lot of fun.

* * *

Angel scoffed. "Some people just don't appreciate good movies anymore."

Angel was referring to the low turnout for the Charlton Heston double feature. There were only about 12 people in attendance. I don't think it took away from the evening, though. It's been a wonderful night, thus far. I was so embarrassed when I got to the movie theater and realized I didn't have any money. But before I could inform Angel of that fact, he was already buying me my ticket.

I couldn't believe it. No one had ever done anything like that for me before. I mean, besides that one time in high school when a boy in my biology class gave me a frog. I thought that was pretty neat. But this felt different. I was touched.

Angel continued to get sweeter as the night went on. He bought a jumbo popcorn and when we went to watch the movie, he leaned over. At first, I thought he was trying to stretch, but he was actually gesturing that it was ok for me to have some. It was so nice of him.

One of the things I noticed as the night went on was that Angel's very quiet. He's not a man…excuse me…a vampire of many words. I can relate. People accuse me of being really shy and quiet. Well, not really. That would require me to know a lot of people, which…I guess I sort of don't. Anyway, usually, two quiet people don't mix well. There's a lot silence and silence can be a killer sometimes. Often times, too much silence between two people can be awkward. But that wasn't the case with Angel.

I felt comfortable around him. It's not just the fact that I felt safe with him. I feel like I can be myself around him and not be judged. I honestly feel like I can be who I am and he won't think I'm some kind of weirdo. I feel like I'm free to be me.

Once the movie ended, Angel and I got up and started walking towards the exit. But Angel took a little detour. He headed towards the street exit.

"I don't want us to get crowded on our way out," Angel suggested. "Let's go out this way."

I couldn't help but smile. "That sounds like a good idea."

Angel opened the door for me. I paused for a second, bowed sheepishly, and giggled before walking out. He's so chivalrous. He paid for everything, shared everything with me, and opened every door for me. It's like something out of medieval times. Whoever said that chivalry is dead hasn't met Angel.

"That was fun," Angel said.

I giggled again. "Yeah…it was."

I can honestly say this was the best date I've ever had.

* * *

Only a day after our date and I couldn't control myself. I was giving the details to just about anyone that moved, including Cordelia and Gunn. The only I hadn't told was Wesley. And everything about my date with Angel was coming out like word vomit. I just couldn't help it. I felt so giddy. So I walked over to Wes's office, making sure to knock first. It was only the polite thing to do. And not many people know this, but I often forget to do it.

"Come in."

I opened Wes's door and slowly walked in. The shyness factor was creeping over me again.

Wes smiled upon seeing me. "Fred…you came out of your room."

"Oh…well, it was such a beautiful day. I just figured I'd come on in and say hello." I was just smiling uncontrollably at this point. "Hello. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. How was the double feature last night?"

Here comes the word vomit. "Last night was amazing, Wes! It was so much fun! Ok, so first we get there and Angel parks the car. We got a lot of compliments about the car. There's something about a convertible in L.A. that just gets everyone's attention. Well, I suppose a convertible anywhere would get attention. I mean, it's a convertible! But I'm sorry, I'm going off on a tangent.

"So anyway, we walk toward the theater and everyone that passes by is just looking at Angel. And I mean, why wouldn't they? He's just so amazing. Like when he walks into a room, you know everyone just drops everything and stares, because he's that much of an attention-grabber. But what they don't know about him is how wonderful he really is.

"He was just a perfect gentleman, Wes. And he opened every door for me and paid for the tickets. He even bought a jumbo popcorn, and every few minutes he'd go like this." I leaned over with left hand out, like a teapot. "Because he wanted me to know it was ok for me to have some. And he's so lonely because he's the last man on Earth."

"Angel?" Wes cut in.

"No. Charlton Heston, the Omega Man. Omega being the last letter of the Greek alphabet, so it's a metaphor. He walks on the street side and not the building side. It's old-fashioned, but kind of chivalrous."

"We're back to talking about Angel?" Wes interrupted again.

"Right. And even though he didn't talk a lot, it was still ok. It was comfortable. It wasn't that awkward kind of quiet. You know…that awkward kind of quiet?"

There was a brief silence.

"No. That's never happened to me," Wes answered. "I…take it you had a good time?"

"Oh, definitely!"

"With Angel?"

"Oh my, yes!"

There was another awkward silence. Wesley had a pensive look on his face, the kind that a sculptor would put on a statue.

"Fred, have you spoken to Angel at all since last night?"

"I haven't, actually." I suddenly started to get a little panicked. "Why? Is that a bad thing? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? I-I sure hope I didn't do anything wrong."

"No, Fred, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just…well…this is rather difficult to…oh my…how do I put this…?"

Before Wes could finish his thought, Angel and Cordelia entered the room. Actually, it was more like Cordelia pulling Angel in by his arm. Suddenly, every negative thought I had in my head just disappeared. Evaporating like so much boiling hot water. Just seeing Angel put me at ease. I started to feel those butterflies in my stomach again.

"Angel has something to say," Cordy announced.

All eyes were on Angel at this point. Mine, especially. I couldn't believe how smitten I was. I've never felt this way about any boy, much less a big, strong vampire. One who's been more of a savior to me than anyone could ever imagine.

"Hey, did anybody else see this?" Angel asked, finally breaking the silence. He brought a copy of today's newspaper to Wes's desk. "Police found the body of a 26 year old, Woodrow Raglan in a two-bedroom suite at the Elondria Hotel. Unnamed witness said, 'It was as if his insides had just…'"

Wesley finished the thought. "Collapsed. You know, there was something like that last week." Wes reached for his bookshelf, quickly beginning his investigation.

"May I just point out that no one is actually hiring us to look into this," Cordy noted, "and that we should be doing more important things?"

Wes looked through a newspaper excerpt. "Here. Ten days ago, a body found in another hotel room under similar conditions."

I had to confess. I was tuning Wes out at this point. My eyes were on Angel. He looked so noble in his eagerness to get to the bottom of this case.

"What do you think?" Angel queried. "Spell? Curse? Serial demon?"

"Tough to say," Wes answered. "Worth a closer look."

"I'll say," Angel agreed. "Cordelia, open up a case file. We have to get on this right away."

It took Angel no time at all to get right down to business. He walked right out the door, determined to solve this case. Cordy followed right behind him. "Angel!" she called out.

One of the things that has me so…head-over-heels is the way that Angel always selflessly put others before him. I've seen that in him since the day he saved me from my execution in Pylea. He's unlike any other.

The only downside is that he's probably already forgotten all about last night. I mean, it's not like I'm anything special, anyway. I'm just a plain little girl. What would such a noble knight ever see in me?

I shrugged and started to walk out of the office. "I guess I'd better head back up to my room."

"Fred…about last night…" Wes began.

The subject of last night made me stop in my tracks. "Yes?"

Wes paused briefly before letting out a deep sigh. "Nothing."

I don't know what Wesley wanted to say to me, but I wasn't about to make much of it. He had a case to focus on. I shouldn't disturb him. Nor should I disturb Angel. I'll let him do what he does best — be that knight in shining armor.

* * *

That night, there wasn't anymore mention of last night's date. The atmosphere had changed and things were strictly business. Wesley worked diligently to get more background on this case and, thus far, things were looking up. Well, not for the victims. Oh, that sounded insensitive. I should just bite my tongue.

Cordy was printing up news archives from the internet while Wesley looked for any connections.

"There was a third victim five weeks ago," Wes said, as he read through one of the printouts. "They were all young, healthy males. They all died in expensive hotel suites."

"Can you imagine shelling out all that money for a snazzy suite and then—kerplop—you're a big bag of mush bones?" I chimed in. "I guess it wouldn't be good wherever that happened." Wes gave me a stare, indicating that I was interrupting. I should know better than to be so rude. "Oh…please continue."

And continue Wes did. "Gunn, I was thinking you could interview staff at these hotels where the guys died. I'm meeting a contact of mine at the coroner's office in 30 minutes. See what I can learn about these bodies."

"They were all members of the same health club," Cordy noted. "The bodies. When they weren't, you know, dead ones."

"Cordy and I'll go check out the gym," Angel suggested.

"My thought exactly," Wes agreed.

Cordy started walking towards the door. "I'll drive."

"What are we waiting for?" Gunn piped up.

"Everybody know what they're doing?" Wes asked. "Good."

Everyone scattered to go about their individual tasks. That left one person at the desk: yours truly.

"I'll just stay here," I said sheepishly to no one in particular. It's not like anyone was listening. "Ok, I'll do that."

Sometimes, for as much as I like being around, I sometimes forget that I'm not part of the team. I'm just a houseguest. It's not like I serve much of a purpose anyway. I suppose that makes me a cheerleader. Even if I've never really considered myself cheerleader material, but again, I digress.

Oh boy…I think I'd better head back to my room.

* * *

Not sure what made me come out of my room again. I'm usually so comfortable in there. It's the only place I really call home anymore. But I've been growing more and more accustomed to actually coming out. Well, to come downstairs at least.

I wanted to say hello, but there didn't seem to be anybody around. The hotel was empty. I figured Wesley would be in his office again. So I headed over there, but I didn't expect to see the sight I saw.

There was Angel. Feet on the desk, he took a sip out of a martini glass as he ran the paper shredder. There goes my heart again — skipping a beat, just like…well…practically every other time I see Angel.

"What'cha doin'?" I asked. I tried to suppress anymore goofy giggles.

"Well, hey, sweetheart," Angel grinned. "Where you been hiding?"

I couldn't hold back anymore giggles. He called me sweetheart. And he smiled at me! "You know, up in my room. Everybody keeps saying, 'Fred, you should get out more,' so…well…"

"Fred!" Angel smiled. He put down his martini and stood up. "Have I ever told you you're a very beautiful woman?"

Oh my goodness! He thinks I'm beautiful! Oh my! I hope I'm not blushing. Oh, who am I kidding? I know I'm blushing! All I can do is stand here and grin and giggle like some schoolgirl. "Um, no."

"Do you like olives?

Before I could even answer, Angel took the olive out of his martini glass. He slowly reached over and fed it to me. I took it in my mouth as I was at a loss for words. I had been thinking about this for a while and wondering to myself what I would do if Angel ever fancied me the way I do him. And it's actually happening! Well, he's flirting with me anyway. But I never even thought I'd get that far.

I giggled again. Oh, damn it, Fred! Why can't you communicate with actual words instead of just giggling?

"I'll tell you what," Angel continued. "I got some work I have to finish up here. Why don't you go on upstairs and put on something pretty and we'll go out on the town."

I was speechless. He's asking me out. My knees feel like Jell-o. Finally, I managed to utter, "Really?"

"That's just for starters."

I was at a loss. So I did the only thing I could do. I babbled. "Ok! I'll be…I'll just go and…ok!"

I couldn't run out of the office fast enough. I have to find something to wear! Angel's taking me out! I'm sure I have something in my room. I have to! I went shopping with Cordelia the other day. She even picked some clothes out for me herself and she knows a lot more about fashion than I do. There…

"AAH!"

Unfortunately, with all the thoughts that are going through my head, my motor skills and my sense of balance aren't where they should be. I quickly get to my feet after tripping on the stairs and rub my knee, which I banged upon impact. Hope Angel didn't see that. Don't want him to think I'm clumsy or anything.

Stumbling, I finally get into my room and shut the door behind me. I pull off my shirt and toss it against the wall and immediately start digging through my closet. When I get this nervous, there's only one other thing I can do — talk to myself.

"I know I have something to wear! I must have bought something. Didn't have to worry about this in Pylea. I just ran around in a brown potato sack. Oh my, I hope he's not listening to me ramble like this. Oh, just shut up already, Fred. Stop talking to yourself like a crazy person! I wish I could just write these thoughts on the wall. I…AH!"

And there it was. It was perfect.

* * *

The butterflies in my stomach are not only still there, but I think they must have mated, laid a lot of eggs, and all hatched, making a whole lot of butterfly families to all fly around in my little tummy. I feel so nervous. It's all such short notice. I'm sure I don't look any better than I usually do.

I figure I should just suck it up. What's the worst that could happen? Well, he could look at me and change his mind about tonight. But then again, I won't do myself any good just sitting here in my room. I can't live the rest of my life in my room. Tonight's the night I stop hiding.

Yes, tonight is the night that Winifred Burkle puts her past behind her. Tonight's the first night of a bright new future. It's all a matter of taking the first step.

I close my eyes and step forward. The sound of my heel striking the hotel's wooden floor echoes through my head. I did it! I had taken the first step. Now it's time to move forward.

I walk downstairs, hoping Angel's still in Wesley's office. Still nervous of what he thinks, I walk in.

And that's when my heart shattered.

There's Angel on Wesley's desk. I see him madly, passionately kissing another woman. I'd never seen her before. I didn't hear anything at that moment. The kisses, the moans, the sound of the objects on Wes's desk crashing to the ground. None of those sounds went through my eardrums. All I heard was the breaking of my heart.

Trying to hold back the tears, I turn around and start to run back to my room. But I can't even make it that far. I can't hold it back anymore. I've already started crying. I run into the elevator and just start to cry my eyes out.

How could he do this? How could he betray me like this? I thought the world of him.

* * *

I don't know how much time has passed. It's felt like an eternity. But here I am and I'm still crying. I didn't know the human body could produce so many tears. I feel like such a fool.

Suddenly, the elevator door opens. Out of the corner of a tear-filled eye, I see the blurry figure of Cordelia.

"Fred. What's wrong? What happened?"

I try to tell her through my tears. "I should've knocked. I always forget to knock 'cause, you know, I didn't have a door for so long." I choke back some more tears. It's not easy for me to actually say this next part. "He called me sweetheart. But it's just an expression, isn't it? Like when a waitress calls you honey, it doesn't mean you're special or anything. It's just a word, right?" Saying that hurt me even more than I thought it would. "Sweetheart." The word is like a dagger. Each time I say it, it pierces my heart even more.

"Is this about Angel?

All I could do is nod. I was too hurt to say anymore. It just hurts so much.

Cordy crawled into the elevator and sat next to me. "He talked to you, didn't he?" She shook her head and sighed. "This is all my fault. I told him to do that."

I stopped crying. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Did Cordy just admit to me that she made Angel do what he did? Why would she do such a thing? My emotions were starting to shift towards anger.

"You told him to make out with that woman on the desk?" I demanded.

Cordy's expression turned to one of shock. "What? No. What woman?"

* * *

I told Cordelia the whole story. And just as I was reaching the end of it, Wesley and Gunn had come back. They saw us in the elevator and asked us what was going on. I told them both what had happened to varying reactions.

"Oh my God."

"Oh, my desk!"

I didn't know if the blur I saw was from the tear still in my eye or from Wesley moving so fast, but he didn't waste any time in going into his office. It was just as I had seen it last. Everything was on the floor and there were telltale signs of major hanky-panky going on.

Wes had this real disgusted look on his face. "I don't believe it. On my desk?"

"Well, it used to be his," Gunn pointed out. "He was just kinda reclaiming it."

Wes slowly circled his desk. "How? By marking it?" He shook his head. "This isn't like him."

"What? This is totally like him," Cordy responded. "Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde."

"Brunette," I corrected. "She was a cheap brunette."

Cordy backtracked her last comment. "You're right. This isn't like him."

"Who was she?" Gunn asked.

"I don't think it matters who she was," Wes replied. "The question is, who is he?"

"Uh-huh. We're all thinkin' it," Cordy nodded. "He's Angelus again."

There was a name I hadn't heard before and it made me uneasy to hear it. "Who's Angelus?"

"The badass vamp Angel turns into when he gets evil," Gunn answered. "But then why isn't there a body here? Wouldn't he have just killed her?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Wes clarified. "Why would Angel — or Angelus, for that matter — need to read about vampires?" Wes pulled out a couple of books that had been opened to pages on vampires. It's as if Angel had been studying himself.

"He wouldn't," Cordy answered.

"Wait. What are you gettin' at?" Gunn asked.

Wes began to make the connections. "This case we've been working on. Each of the victims exhibited wild, uncharacteristic behavior just before they died. They weren't themselves."

"So you think Angel's been infected by whatever got into those gym boys," Gunn suggested.

"Not whatever," Wes correct. "Whomever. Cordelia, when you and he were at the gym, did anything unusual happen to Angel?"

"No, not really. I was with him pretty much the whole time. Except for when he went across the street to the retirement home!"

"That's our answer," Wes said. "We have to get to the retirement home. I think I know what's going on."

"Well, then you'd better tell us, English," Gunn said curiously. "What's the deal?"

"I'll explain on the way. Everyone grab a blunt object and come with me."

I didn't know what to make of any of this. I thought that Angel was a two-timing jerk who was stringing me along. But this was the first I've heard of an evil side to him. That sounded scary. I sure have plenty of time to think about it while they go get the real Angel back.

They were all at the door when Gunn turned back. "You coming?"

I looked up, feeling surprised. "Me?"

"Yes, Fred," Wes replied. "Are you not a part of the team?"

I smiled for the first time since I caught Angel…or whoever that was…on Wes's desk. "Sure! Let me just go get my bat!"

* * *

Finally, the ordeal's over.

Angel's back in his own body and everything seems to be back to normal. Seems is the key word, of course.

If there's one thing I love about books, it's that it's always been a way to escape the dreariness of real life. For as bad as I've felt, I still feel comfortable in picking up a book and getting lost in it. And there's no better place to read than outside the hotel in the garden. What I don't quite expect at that moment is to be suddenly brought back to reality.

"Hi."

It was Angel. It's the first time I've seen him since we came back from the retirement home. I bashed him pretty hard. I felt sorry, but at the same time I didn't, which I suppose is unfair, considering it wasn't really Angel in his own body at the time. So why do I feel a sense of satisfaction?

"Hey. How's your head? Sorry about all that…" I made a swinging motion with my right hand.

"No. I gather I had it coming."

"Uh…yes," I giggled. I couldn't deny it and I definitely couldn't lie to him.

Angel sat next to me. "Fred, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

I tried to fight the butterflies. It wasn't easy though. "Mm-hmm. Ok." The giggles were still there. But I had to face reality again. This wasn't a book or even television. This was reality and it was time for me to deal with it. "Is this about how you're not like other men…what with that curse and all? And how you're really fond of me, but that's as far as it goes?"

Angel paused. "Uh, yeah."

"Cordelia explained it to me," I told him. "She said you'd probably just screw it up."

"Oh, she did, did she? Well…she's probably right."

It was so painful. This was my savior. By all accounts, I should have been dead at least three times over. He's been so wonderful to me and he's not like any other man I've ever met in my life. But alas, that's also the biggest issue. I need to fight these feelings. I have to face it. This isn't meant to be. I let out a big sigh.

"What?"

"It's like something out of Fitzgerald. The man who can have everything but love. Well, maybe in some ways you're better off, because love is…well, in a way it's everything. But it's also heartache and disappointment. And those are good things to avoid."

Before I can say anything else, Cordelia runs out onto the balcony.

"Angel! Willow's on the phone! She's alive! Buffy's alive!"

In a heartbeat, Angel got to his feet and ran back inside. In an instant, I was left alone…again.

Angel's been everything to me. I owe him everything. I owe him my life. I would have gladly given him my heart…even my soul. He's everything I could ever ask for. He's the knight in shining armor that a girl only hears about in fairy tales.

But I've also learned that all this is…is one big puppy love. An infatuation, if you will. Because really…for as much as I think the world of Angel, there's also a lot I don't know about him. And once again, that reality has slapped me in the face.

"Buffy?"

For the second time that night, I felt my heart shatter.

**THE END**


End file.
